You get two free Docs of the Day today.

One is 155 pages of brilliance in defense of our free speech, in an order for an injunction by Louisiana Federal District Court Judge Terry A. Doughty. I admit I have only made it through three pages. But this is the reading that will keep me up past my bedtime tonight.

The other is an order by Arkansas Federal District Court Judge Lee P. Rudofsky. I scanned the text only entry that came in the mail to me. The court’s printer is misaligned, and the ends of words were truncated. It is short, and you will probably be able to fill in the blanks.

Judge Rudofsky’s order seems to me to be an attempt by the judge to chill my free speech.

I have a bachelor’s degree in journalism from Colorado State University that I earned before my 21st birthday. I have spent more than a decade writing about corrupt judges and attorneys. I am not an attorney, but I understand the subtleties of free speech. To borrow a metaphor from the judge, I know how to keep my pinky toe on the right side of the line.

A Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Detective once told me he and his fellow law enforcement agents read my blog and they were none too pleased with what I had to say; but could not arrest me. My current litigation adversary reads my blog. My adversary has given several of my posts to Judge Rudofsky as exhibits.

You may have read some of my posts about Portfolio Recovery Associates, LLC and its parent company, PRA Group, Inc. You know I think the company violated a court order when it called me hundreds of times to try to collect an alleged debt that was part of a portfolio of alleged debts that was known to have inaccuracies. I allege that the attorneys who represent PRA lied numerous times during litigation and that one business record produced by PRA is inconsistent with another and they are both inconsistent with my records and my memory.

You may have seen me drop the F-bomb on this blog once or twice. You probably saw me call the attorneys “sleazy snakes”. But, each and every document I file in court is quite professional and an exercise in civility.

The PRA attorneys chose to ignore the subtleties of freedom of speech. They made up a lie about me that I was suing their client to recoup money I lost playing online poker.

I play poker way too much on my phone, but it is for fake money, and I don’t pay for chips. Zynga and Poker Bros give free chips to suck players in, and I am able to turn the $10,000 or so gift into multi-millions. Eventually I bust out and start over again with my freebies.

I am hardly a degenerate, running from my bookie.

What stops attorneys from making up lies about plaintiffs? They have immunity against civil defamation claims for statements made in the course of legal proceedings. But there is this pesky little thing called perjury. And there is supposed to be a rule, Rule 11 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure, that requires attorneys to certify claims and defenses they make in the documents they file are supported or can be supported by evidence.

I filed a motion against the attorneys at Rose Law Firm and Troutman Pepper for making up lies about my poker losses. I mentioned that I was writing a book about poker, and the false accusations by the attorneys may hurt my reputation as a solid poker player.

[Shameless plug: The book is published and available on Amazon and Kindle – Balls of Crystal and Steel: What it Takes to Play Poker Without Losing Your Assets, by Sean Lynn and Laura Lynn Hammett.]

Judge Rudofsky poo-poo’d my motion and wrote: “the record reveals that Ms. Hammett has engaged in conduct that comes perilously close to harassment of opposing counsel and abuse of the litigation process.”

Poppy-cock!

There is nothing harassing about writing the truth or a sincerely held opinion on a blog. PRA attorneys do not need to read the blog. They certainly don’t need to go tattling to the judge like little bitches. I haven’t suggested anyone break the law nor have I incited violence. There is nothing revealed in the record otherwise.

Man, why couldn’t I draw a judge once in a while like Judge Doughty?